原句:Although I have never been to the races before,I was very excited to behold them,yet also somewhat nervous,because of the type of people who go there.
修改后:I’d never been to a horse race.I was excited to go,but also a little nervous,since I wasn’t sure about the people at the track.
原句:When I first saw the comic book fans jumping up and down,I thought as they would,“Lord,what fools these mortals be”(Gaiman 1989.)I later learned why they do this.
修改后:The fans jump up and down.When I first saw this,I wondered what they were doing and my mind conjured a quote from Shakespeare that Neil Gaiman used in his“Sandman”:“Lord,what fools these mortals be.”However,I watched a bit longer and realized the company spokesmodels were throwing free merchandise.The fans wanted to get the most from their day at the convention.
At last,an overarching theory blooms inside my head:megalopolitan East Coaster’s summer treats and breaks and literally‘getaways’,flights-from–from crowds,noise,heat,dirt,the stress of too many sensory choices…The East Coast existential treat is escape from confines and stimuli–quiet,rustic vistas that hold still,turn inward,turn away.Not so in the rural Midwest.Here you’re pretty much away all the time…Something on a Midwesterner sort of actuates,deep down,at a public event…The real spectacle that draws us here is us.